Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
