Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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