oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?