OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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