my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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