I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
