We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
