I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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