the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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