dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
