I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
