no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
