...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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