I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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