there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize