you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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