Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
