Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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