Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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