dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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