I need help removing her.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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