She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
there is puke in my bra ... again
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