I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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