This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
