your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
