last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So much Jack, so little girl.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
