No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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