It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
