So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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