I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
