His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
