There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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