my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
