fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This baby is an asshole
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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