you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
