He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
