Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Found your dick twin last night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize