Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
