I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize