she was so not down for the gang bang
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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