that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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