I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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