whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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