K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize