I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize