Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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