writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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