She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
