I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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