is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
