My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
