Welp...herpes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
