Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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