You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
